How I found the holy in the holidays by Pamela Cook
Merry Christmas. The very words used to make me want to run and hide.
All my life, the holiday season has been a time of wishing for something I never got—and what it seemed like everyone else around me had. Suffice it to say mine was not an Ozzie and Harriet childhood. As an adult, I grew resentful about the holidays. I couldn’t stand pretending I liked Christmas when it was just a reminder to me of the happy family I never had.
While others around me anticipated the holidays with joy, Thanksgiving and Christmas represented pure torture for me. It was the time of year I felt left out and unloved. I’d have given anything to make the whole holiday season go away.
So, after college, I vowed to avoid the whole thing. One year I orchestrated a two-day visit with some Jewish friends and “pretended” not to be Christian. In my 30’s, I made it a habit to get sick in mid-December and spent the days leading up to Christmas in bed, asleep. I just wanted to stick my head under the covers and disappear.
This year things are quite a bit different. Just before Thanksgiving, when the usual pre-holiday anxiety began to set in, I made a conscious decision to look it in the eye and conquer it. I realized I was stuck in an old, fearful view of the holidays—one in which everyone but me was happy. From this viewpoint, everything about the holiday season was shrouded in disappointment, forming a kind of veil over my ability to see clearly in the present. And I wanted out.
So, I took a deep breath and asked God to help me.
I think I was really motivated by just being tired of the whole routine—year after year, dreading the holidays, pretending to be cheerful, feeling left out, resenting other people’s joy. It was becoming boring—I was ready for something new. But if I let go of my routine, what would be there to replace it? I prayed for the courage to find out.
A Bible verse provided a clue. “God setteth the solitary in families.” I heard that as God’s promise to me and I hung onto it. Surely its message is for everyone—including me.
Sure enough, the proof of this was right round the corner. Over the next few days, I received four invitations from families asking me to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. These invitations came out of the blue, from unexpected sources—from old friends to people I barely knew. I cherished each invitation, because I knew they all had the same source—God, and His infinite goodness.
I wound up going to church on Thanksgiving morning for the most wonderful service ever. It was a true “holy day.” Then I spent a quiet afternoon alone, but not lonely. This special time was filled with joy and gratitude, for the first time in my life on that holiday.
Since then, the veil of self-pity and anxiety has lifted. Empowered by God’s evident love for me, I emerged from behind the veil to look ahead, to contemplate Christmas from a fresh perspective. This year, as Christmas approaches, I am spending my time cozying up to God and asking, what is Christmas all about? It can’t just be about the birth of a little boy named Jesus. There has to be more to it than that. What is the spiritual meaning of Christmas?
I would never claim to have the ultimate answer, but the question has propelled me down a new path in my spiritual journey. Now I am thinking of the birth of Jesus as spiritually representing the time when the Christ came most prominently to the surface of human consciousness. I think of the Christ as God’s healing message, which He gave us through Christ Jesus. It is this Christly presence—today and for all time—that proves God’s deep love for each and every one of us.
This way of thinking about Christmas has me soaring. Christmas—Christ’s appearing—proves God’s love for you and for me and for all mankind. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate that?
So today, I’m actually looking forward to Christmas. I’m seeing it with newborn appreciation—as a holy day that has spiritual meaning—and it feels great.
Copyright permission from http://www.spirituality.com
About Author
Pamela is a spiritual healer.
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